I CRY EVERY TIME I SEE THESE
DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU SEE THIS FUCKING JAR?
THIS SHIT IS CALLED COOKIE BUTTER. THEY SELL IT AT TRADER JOE’S AND IT’S BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE: SPREADABLE GODDAMN COOKIES. THIS SHIT HAS THE TEXTURE AND CONSISTENCY OF PEANUT BUTTER, EXCEPT IT TASTES LIKE GINGERBREAD. WANNA KNOW WHY? BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY FUCKING MADE WITH CRUSHED BELGIAN COOKIES. PUT IT ON YOUR GODDAMN TOAST AND MAKE A GODDAMN COOKIE BUTTER SANDWICH. IT’S LIKE A PARTY IN YOUR MOUTH AND EVERYONE IS WINNING THE LOTTERY AND ALSO HAVING AN ORGASM.
AND THE BEST PART? NO NUTS, NO DAIRY, NO SODIUM, NO CHOLESTEROL. I SWEAR TO GOD I HAVE BEEN EATING THIS SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF THE CONTAINER WITH A SPOON. I AM NEAR TEARS FROM THIS TRANSCENDENTAL EXCELLENCE. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO GET YOURSELF SOME GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING COOKIE BUTTER, BITCH.
i just said “so are we going to do are we going to get thing” to my friend and she just stared at me until i realized that what i said made no sense
if magic isn’t real then how do you explain
It hardens because the chocolate cools on the cold ice cream. Put a bottle in the fridge and wait. It’ll be a hunk of chocolate
no i’m pretty sure it’s magic it even says “magic” on the bottle and it’s got a snazzy turtle in a hat a magician would wear with a magic wand